If Grandma lives through tonight, she will finally get her wish to come home. I have been getting the house ready so we can make her as comfortable as possible. We are putting a hospital bed in her living room and the rest of us are going to camp out on the couches and the floor. We are going to have family around her 24 hours a day. Chris and Carol are bringing the new baby. She will really like that. She thinks that Carson is cute.
At noon today the hospital stopped her IV, and she is not getting a feeding tube put in her. There will be no more medicines save what she may need for pain. She got her last shot of insulin today. I only wish that she were aware of the fact. At last she is free from diabetes.
The last time I was sure she knew it was me holding her was yesterday morning. She put her hand on the back of my head as I cried telling her just how much I love her. I really hope that she does not forget me when she is in heaven. I am never going to forget her. I have not ever hurt this bad.
I have known that I was going to have to face a life without her. She and I have talked about it, but it was always that far off thing that was going to be many years away. Not days. Maybe not even hours. I caught myself begging God for just one more year today. It would of course be torture for her. And she really wants to be with Pete. She was the one true love of her life. Is it really so selfish that I want him to wait longer?
She will be so happy to see him again... I just hope she doesn't forget me...
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